In a CNA article, Alicia, a mother of an 18-month-old commented: “To be honest, my partner and I quarrelled a lot about sleeping (practices for our child) initially. I was very influenced by ‘best practices’ ... cannot use pacifiers, cannot co-sleep, don’t set (your child) up for ‘failures’ by having too many sleep aids.
In the same article, Mr Soh Wei Jie, a clinical psychologist at Annabelle Psychology and Annabelle Kids, said that the challenge modern parents face is in sifting through the available content, whether on social media or on official parenting and family guidance sites online, to decide what works best for their families. That stress is likely magnified by the discrepancy between what is portrayed on social media and the expectations of the older generation, he added.
The pressure to “get it right” when it comes to sleep can feel overwhelming. But as Mr Soh pointed out, the real challenge isn’t finding information — it’s learning how to filter it. Every family is unique, and sleep training is not about following rigid rules. It’s about finding what works for your baby and your household, and that can look different for everyone.
What Exactly is Sleep Training?
Sleep training is the process of helping your baby learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep independently. The goal is for your baby to be comfortable sleeping for several hours through the night on their own. If they wake up, they’ll learn to self-soothe and fall back asleep. There are several sleep training methods parents can use developed by paediatricians and sleep experts.
Once they’ve been sleep-trained, babies can sleep 9-12 hours at night. With more restful sleep, they’ll feel better during the day, as will their parents — which can improve the overall quality-of-life for the family.
When to start?
Babies aren’t ready for sleep training until they’re 4-6 months old. Before then, they haven’t developed the circadian rhythms that will help them sleep through the night. According to Sleep Foundation, six months is generally agreed to be a good time to start sleep training, although you can begin as early as four months or as late as nine months. A rough gauge to start would be when your baby starts to fall asleep on their own at night (even if they wake up throughout the night), they’re most likely ready.
It is also important to consider your baby’s overall development, particularly their feeding patterns and growth milestones. Babies who are still waking frequently for full feeds may not yet be ready to consolidate their night sleep. Generally, sleep training works best when your baby is feeding well during the day and can go longer stretches without needing night time feeds.
If your baby was born prematurely or has specific health concerns, you may need to adjust your timing and approach accordingly. Always check in with your pediatrician to make sure your baby’s nutritional and developmental needs are on track before beginning sleep training.
Popular Sleep Training Methods
When it comes to sleep training, there’s no one “right” method, and contrary to popular belief, sleep training doesn’t always have to involve letting your baby cry endlessly.
Photo: Popular Sleep Training Methods - Baby Sleep Made Simple
1. Ferber Method
The Ferber Method is one of the more well-known sleep training approaches. It usually starts with a calming bedtime routine — cuddles, a goodnight kiss, and some quiet time with your baby before you leave the room.
In the beginning, you respond fairly quickly when your baby cries, offering comfort with a gentle pat or soothing them to help them settle. Over time, you gradually stretch the intervals between check-ins, giving your baby more space to self-soothe and fall back asleep on their own. Below is a Ferber method chart to guide your check-in timings:
Many parents find that this method works quite fast. Some parents though, find it hard to hear their baby cry, especially knowing they’re not meant to respond right away. If you’re considering this approach, it’s good to be prepared for some crying — it's part of the process.
Research has shown that using the Ferber Method doesn’t cause long-term harm. Studies haven’t found any lasting effects on a child’s emotional health, behavior, or attachment to their parents.
2. The Chair Method (other names include: Fading Method, Camping Out Method)
Parents usually sit or stand by their child’s bed as they drift off, offering quiet presence but minimal interaction. Each night, you slowly move further away — from sitting right next to the crib to eventually being near the door, while your baby gets used to falling asleep without much help.
This method can feel less abrupt and more supportive. However, it’s still tough — your baby may cry while you’re right there, which can be emotionally challenging. Fading often takes more time than some of the quicker methods like Ferber or Cry It Out, sometimes up to two weeks, but it can feel like a more manageable balance for parents who don’t want to leave their baby alone from the start.
Research consistently shows that both the Ferber and Fading methods help improve infant sleep, boost parental rest, and can even support better mental health for parents in the long run. Studies tracking families for years found no evidence of long-term harm to the child’s emotional well-being or attachment. In fact, moms who used these methods were less likely to report symptoms of depression later on. By the time these children reached six years old, there were still no signs of negative impact from sleep training.
3. Pick Up/Put Down Method (PUPD Method)
The PUPD Method blends elements of responsive soothing with behavioural training. You begin each night with your usual bedtime routine and put your baby down while they're still awake. If they cry, you pick them up to soothe them until they calm down, then place them back in the crib before they fall asleep in your arms. The goal is to offer reassurance without prolonging dependency on being held. It's especially popular with parents who want to stay physically present without resorting to the more hands-off approaches.
This method takes patience, as you'll likely repeat the pick-up and put-down cycle several times each night — sometimes for up to an hour or more for the first 4-5 nights.It typically takes 1-3 weeks to reach complete resolution of sleep problems, although parents should anticipate the hardest nights during your first week.
Practitioners note that PUPD can be effective for babies around 4–6 months who aren’t quite ready for stricter methods. While this approach may take more time, it strikes a balance between offering comfort and gently encouraging independent sleep — making it a solid middle ground for families seeking a kind, gradual transition.
Note: If your baby is heavy or if you have back pain, this approach may not be possible for you to implement.
4. No Tears / Gentle Methods
With this strategy, you stay by your baby’s side and offer comfort. The key idea is to gradually ease out strong sleep associations (like nursing or rocking) rather than removing them abruptly. For example, you might nurse your baby until they’re drowsy but still awake, then lay them down and gently reassure them if they become unsettled — using soft words, patting, or a pacifier
This method leans heavily on creating a consistent, calming bedtime routine and slowly stepping back night by night. While you’ll likely see results more gradually, often over a few weeks, it’s designed to minimize tears and maintain emotional closeness. Because you’re present the entire time, many parents find it preserves both the baby's comfort and their own peace of mind. Be prepared though: even gentle training can cause some fussing as you reduce sleep props.
Important Tips for sleep training
When sleep training, it is essential to establish a calming and predictable bedtime routine. Here are some tips to keep in mind:
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Stay consistent — not just with the timing, but also with your chosen method and daily approach, as this helps your baby feel secure and understand what to expect.
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Make sure their sleep environment is conducive to rest: keep the room cool, quiet, and dark to encourage uninterrupted sleep.
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Watch for your baby’s natural sleep cues, such as rubbing their eyes, becoming fussy, or yawning, so you can catch their ideal sleep window.
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Be patient: Remember, sleep training is a gradual process that can take several days or even weeks.
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Avoid sleep training through hunger. Make sure your baby’s night feedings are well established before you begin, so they’re not waking from hunger. For instance, a four-month-old usually wakes up 2-3 times overnight to eat.
Also, know when to pause. Sleep training should be put on hold if your baby is sick, going through major developmental milestones, or if your family is dealing with big changes like travel or moving house.
Sleep training can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. At CradleNest, we’re here to support you through your unique parenting journey. Download the CradleNest app (available from July 2025) if you’d like to explore more trusted tips, hear from other parents, or simply find support along the way — all in your own time.
This article was informed by resources from the following:
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Sleep Foundation. Sleep Training.
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Baby Sleep Science. Sleep Training 101: Pick Up Put Down.
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